Returning home
The flight back across the Atlantic was nice. There were lcd screens set in the headrests with a selection of 30 movies and they served several free food services. The man next to me (we had an empty space between us), asked for two of every meal, and the U shaped notch in the folding tray perfectly fit against his bulging stomach. He carefully pulled the tray out until it cupped his stomach before each meal and I think he was proud his belly fit so well.
I watched inglorious basterds, harry potter, and avatar on the way out. I had to turn off avatar in disgust after 20 minutes. The movie hit so many of the standard hollywood stereotypes it was unwatchable. Still it worked well as a screensaver and on the second leg of my trip, I turned it back on while I listened to my audiobooks.
We landed on 'Liberty Island' in Newark. As we were herded through lines, scrutinized, interrogated, and sorted by dour men in ill fitting uniforms, we walked under banners that said, 'Welcome to America land of the free!' with pictures of eagles and the statue of liberty. The freedom propaganda continued while disgusted officials demanded to see our papers, made us go through extra security, pulled people aside for strip searching, and pawed through our luggage looking for stuff to confiscate.
I made the mistake of declaring the packaged sausages in my bags on the 'freedom declaration form' I filled out on the plane. Since I brought whole dried squid back from Japan, I figured my dad's gifts would be ok as long as the package was intact. The man checking the declaration form gave me a sorry look like I had brought this on myself and directed me into a separate line. While everyone else continued on to their connecting flight, I stood in this extra security line for thirty minutes and when I reached the end of the line and told the official I had some packaged sausages, his face lit up and he shouted out to the other inspectors that there was 'SAUSAGE COMING THROUGH!'. The other agents pawed through my bag and inspected the meat closely before telling me I couldn't keep it.
The guy had a little decency to sound ashamed about taking the gifts from my luggage but lost all respect by suggesting I would have been fined $300 had I not declared it. We both knew this was bullshit.
So my dad didn't get his gift and I had $50 worth of goods stolen from my bags while I watched. Instead of getting angry I've decided to use this as a learning experience and an honesty tax in much the same way the lottery is a tax on people who failed math class.
In contrast to the flight out of Europe, the flight across the US was completely full and we left the gate late because it took a long time for everyone to get their oversized carry-on bags into the overhead compartments. I was crammed next to the window by a guy who preferred to hang his elbows over the arm rests on either side. He had a short sleeved button up shirt and incredibly long arm hair. The feeling of this hair against my arm gave me unpleasant chills and I spent the miserable 6 hour flight crammed up against the window recoiling from their touch.
A half hour into the flight, the guy in front of me put his seat back such that the screen on the headrest was 8 inches from my face and I had to tilt it up to see the image. My back and butt hurt but there was no room to lean forward and I couldn't stand sitting normally with the arm hairs waiting for me on the other side.
When we arrived in Los Angeles, the plane shut down on the tarmac and we waited an excruciating 15 minutes for a tug to come pull us the last 100 feet to the gate. Hairy arm tapped on his knees and hummed quietly to himself and I could have throttled him.
At 9:30pm I caught the last flight to Monterey and paid a taxi to drive me back to my truck where I had left it at work. It was midnight and I had been up 28 hours when I reached my bed.
All in all, it was a nice trip and I hope to see more of Europe soon.