Judging books by their covers
I found a site of dubious legality with a wide selection of independently published books and was delighted by the cover images. Scrolling through the list I found some I wanted to share and I noticed some trends.
The collection (which is probably a representative sample of all books published in America) are broken into these categories:
- 60% romance novels
- 20% murder mysteries
- 8% science fiction/fantasy
- 5% pro-military/prepper
- 5% general drama
- ~2% other including non-fiction
In the bland book categories are ones where the person just stuck a picture they took that one time they visited the beach. These books are a mystery - no-one knows what they contain.
This author didn't have a generic vacation landscape photo but instead used some clipart and a picture of a motorcycle. I saw another of his books - it had different clipart and another motor vehicle.
Then there's science fiction. These are usually of a militaristic bent but they often have fantasy elements.
These can have the most entertainingly bad cover art.
I can't imagine that she's holding anything other than a green baguette. The artist must have just used a baguette as reference image right? What is that?
Of course there's there are books trying to capitalize on the young adult hunger games fans.
Amanda was pleased to see there were authors out there catering to her interests.
Murder mysteries were the second most common books I saw in the collection. Usually the covers were too boring or cutesy to reproduce here. Murder mystery covers usually show an end table with a rose and cup of coffee, a gun or a knife, or a cartoon of a woman holding a magnifying glass. A large percentage just have kittens or puppies and have puns in the title. Again they were too boring to reproduce here but here's a representative sample of some book titles.
Then there are the romance novels. These are generally broken into two types with about 60% being period dramas (think pride and prejudice) and bland hallmark specials and 40% showing a man with his pectoral muscles.
I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of women who only buy and read books with pecs on the cover. Within these pectoral romances 99% feature one of the following:
- wolves
- aliens
- bears
- cowboys
- bikers
- billionaires (never millionaires)
- clansmen
- vampires
- soldiers
- football players
Look out lady it's coming right at you!
Alpha Dragon's Nanny from the Billionaire Shifters' Nanny Mates Series.
Finally there are the strange books. I found a disturbing amount of bigfoot erotica and drama. I'm not sure if this fits under science fiction/fantasy.
Books with very specific fetishes.
And books with very specific grievances.
I don't know if the author was so excited about this idea he had to spell it out on the front cover or if whoever he contracted to do the cover art took his suggestions too literally. That's a portrait of the author right?.
MM MPREG is code for a romantic male-male relationship with male-pregnancy. That they have to specify this is nonshifter fiction tells me more than I want to know. How does MPREG work physiologically? Which hole does the baby come out of?!
You can tell this horse is so fed up with their shit.
Then there's this one. Actually I think I would read this book.
I've only scratched the surface of wacky book covers in this collection so you can expect to see more of these in the future.
Adjective order
In English adjectives have to be listed in a certain order or they sound weird. Most English speakers don't realize they know this.
Here's the ordered list:
- Opinion
- Size
- Age
- Shape
- Color
- Origin
- Material
- Purpose
For example you can't rearrange the adjectives in this sentence without the result sounding awful or losing meaning.
Lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife
It's one of a myriad of special rules in English language. Consider:
Terrible old conveyer belt
vs:
Old terrible conveyer belt
I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule. The only consistency in English is how inconsistent it is. Let me know if you find any.
If I didn't already speak the language I would hate it.
Visit Las Vegas
Amanda's sister moved to Baker when her husband took a heavy equipment job at the Mojave national preserve. Baker is a gas station in the desert between Los Angeles and Los Vegas. The national preserve is nice but the desert along the highway is littered with trash, dead wildlife, and innumerable scorch marks from cars that had burned on the journey between those two cities. We passed several wrecks on the drive over including one with a dead body stretched out in the median while first responders stood around chatting.
Las Vegas is the destination for gamblers in the US - especially for people along the west coast. The desert city is marketed as a place to explore your most decadent desires and capitalist dreams. Though I've only been to the city once in my life (for an electronics conference) I know people that go several times a year to gamble and stay at the hotels. It's marketed as an adult playground and the amount of money on display is a testament to how much people lose at the casinos.
When we stopped for gas before driving into the preserve to do a hike, I picked up this free guide to Las Vegas and as we drove into the park I read sections out loud. The pamphlet is printed on cheap paper and contains a map and phone numbers for services in the city as well as short highlights of places and people written by what must be the most jaded ad copy writer in the world.
A guide on how much to tip the people that help you throughout the day.
This adults-only playground has everything an adult could want.
There's Mega Bar, a 165-foot-long-bar on Circa's first floor; Circa Bar a vibrant outdoor bar along the famed Fremont street experience, Overhang Bar, overlooking the casino's massive sports book; Vegas Vickie's, an upscale lobby bar starring one of the city's most beloved neon signs, and Legacy Club a rooftop lounge paying tribute to the founding fathers of Vegas.
As for the adults-only fun, Circa sports Stadium Swim, a year round pool experience that includes six pools across three levels, multiple swim-up bars, private cabanas, selfie walls, and an impressive 40 foot HD television screen.
If fun isn't what you're looking for, feel free to walk a mile long strip mall containing a bunch of brand name clothing retailers, jewelry, skin care, and fast food joints which I won't bother to actually list here.
Finally, there are ads for the various shooting ranges which I leave here without comment.
Machine Guns Vegas is a perfect way to add some vacation to your vacation. With more than 40 firearms options and packages to choose from give that trigger finger some exercise.
If it's you and your boo, try out the only package where the guns can be shot as a team, The Bonnie & Clyde package. Guns include the sawed-off shotgun, Colt commando automatic rifle, and the 1911 pistol. Is it a date with your ladies? Try the Femme Fatale Experience - three firearms, the M4, MP5, and Glock 17 all colored pink.
even your kids (aged 10-17) can indulge in the Kid Experience and test their skills with an M4 and the Smith & Wesson M&P 15-22.
For the gamers out there, the 45-minute Gamers Experience package puts those video game guns in your hands for some target practice. Enjoy popping off some rounds with the Desert Eagle handgun, AK-47, M4, and the AR-10 sniper rifle. For those that really want to indulge their firearm draems, The Compound Experience is the largest package - guests are taken to the VIP area to fire off eight different firearms; M60, 1919, M249 SAW, Saiga, Noisy Cricket, Draco, MP4, and the Desert Eagle .50AE.
for possibly one of the coolest shooting experiences boko the Door Gunner. Up to three guests are taken up in a helicopter to shoot a belt-fed machine gun out of the chopper.
Machine Guns Vegas also offers wedding experiences where the bridge and groom can pull the trigger of a Glock 17 right after saying their vows in front of family and friends.
Comcast sent me an updated privacy policy.
I'm so happy my internet service provider is collecting my genetic information.
The infrequently updated blog.